Garfield's Tails of Love
by Ellis97
Summary: It's Valentines Day, which means it's time for a series of love stories from everyone's favorite orange tabby cat. First, Garfield meets Arlene for a nice romantic evening, but also someone else. Next, when Orson's secret crush on a local girl is revealed, the guys dare him to ask her out. Finally, Jon goes on a date with a pretty woman, but Garfield knows that something is wrong.
1. Garfield's Love Affair

**Author's Note:**

**Well folks! Here's the Garfield Valentines Day special! Get ready for some stories of love with our favorite orange tabby cat, who could not be more in love with himself and lasagna! Let's see what he's up to!**

**But first, here's a Garfield Quickie!**

* * *

**TRAPPED IN A SMILE! **

Jon was walking down the hall when he saw Garfield smiling like everything was right with the world.

"Wow Garfield." He said. "That's quite a smile. It's nice to see you in a good mood for once."

As soon as Jon walked away, Garfield took his foot out of something and went back to his usual frowning.

"Stupid mouse traps." He thought as he threw the mouse trap away. "This is what I get for not chasing mice."

**NOW TIME FOR OUR STORY! **

* * *

Our story opens up in the neighborhood fence, where we see Garfield ready for his date with Arlene, whom apparently is running late.

"Boy, Arlene sure is running late." He thought. "I wonder where she is?"

Just then, another cat climbed onto the fence and walked towards Garfield.

"Hello there." the cat waved to Garfield.

"Oh, hey." Garfield looked at her with a bored face.

"I'm Penelope, what's your name?" the cat smiled.

"Garfield." Garfield stared at the woman.

"That's a real nice name." Penelope smiled. "So, are you waiting for someone?"

Garfield looked at Penelope, "Well, you see I-"

"GARFIELD!" Something interrupted the orange tabby's thoughts.

Garfield turned around and saw Arlene with a very catty and icy glare as she saw him with Penelope.

"Well, guess my question has been answered." Penelope walked away. "See ya!"

Garfield shrugged and walked towards Arlene. "Hey Arlene, what's happening baby?"

"Don't you sweet talk me, mister!" Arlene hissed. "I saw you with that floozy! I don't ever wanna see you again, you two-timing chauvinist pig!"

"Arlene calm down." Garfield smirked. "Now look at me. Do I look like the guy who could easily attract women?"

Arlene thought, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"And just what do you mean by that, missy?" Garfield glared at Arlene.

"Nothing." Arlene rolled her eyes. "So, where are we going?"

"Follow me, my lady." Garfield purred.

Garfield led Arlene to an alley in town, grabbed a box, and sat down.

"Get ready to feast your eyes, Arlene." Garfield smiled at his woman. "You're about to have a nice feast tonight."

Garfield reached into the trash can and took out their dinner, which was wrapped in used newspaper.

"Here is your dinner, m'lady." Garfield slammed the food right onto the box.

Arlene opened up the newspaper, "Um Garfield, is this food fresh?"

"Of course it is, it's only yesterday's paper." Garfield chuckled. "Now dig in."

Arlene rolled her eyes and started eating the food scraps, "Are you gonna join in, Garfield? It's not like you to miss out on a meal."

Garfield looked at all the scraps, "No thanks. I'm on a diet."

"Since when are you on a diet?" Arlene raised an eyebrow.

"Since I just saw those scraps in the paper." Garfield looked at Arlene.

While Arlene ate the food on the paper, Garfield shoved the half-eaten turkey drumstick into his mouth.

"I thought you were on a diet." Arlene raised an eyebrow.

"I am." Garfield ate the food. "I just always give into temptation to cheat on it."

Arlene rolled her eyes and continued to eat.

After finishing their dinner, Garfield and Arlene went back to the fence to have a nice conversation.

"Why do we see each other, Garfield?" Arlene looked at Garfield.

"It beats being lonely." Garfield stared at Arlene.

"I was hoping for something a bit more romantical." Arlene glared. "Honestly Garfield. I don't know why I hang around with you. You're rude, selfish, obnoxious, egotistical, and downright lazy."

"You forget, roguishly handsome." Garfield smirked. "But I am by no means, egotistical. I think very highly of myself and don't care for most people."

"I rest my case." Arlene hissed.

"You know Arlene, you're right." Garfield smiled. "Maybe it's time we did get more serious."

"Really?" Arlene smiled.

"Serious about getting that gap in your teeth fixed." Garfield laughed.

Arlene hissed, scratched Garfield, and threw him off the fence and into a garbage tank. She then walked away.

Garfield climbed out of the garbage tank and shook the trash off his fur.

"The truth hurts and so does love." He thought as he walked back home.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**Truer words have probably been spoken before, Garfield. After all, love has no boundaries. In any case, it's time to go over to the farm to see what Orson and his friends are up to! **


	2. Orson Pig Meets Dan Cupid

**US ACRES QUICKIE! **

**THE BIRDS WENT OVER THE BARNYARD!**

**Orson**: Hey guys! I've found a fun way to go over the fence!

**Roy**: Really? What kind of way?

**Orson**: Follow me!

Orson and his friends gathered up a cinderblock and a long wooden board. They used them to build a seesaw.

**Orson**: Okay guys, I'll get on this board and you guys jump on the other side, and I'll be sprung onto the other side of the fence. Good thing I brought my crash helmet. Ready?

**Wade, Roy, Booker,** and **Sheldon**: Yeah! We sure are!

The birds jumped onto the board, but instead of Orson flying over the fence, it was the other way around. They fell onto the field.

**Orson**: That is not exactly what I had in mind.

**Roy**: Try losing some weight, fatso!

**Wade**: This is the closest thing I've ever done to flying.

**Booker**: Guess you didn't really take into account your weight, huh Orson?

**Sheldon**: I thought pigs were supposed to be smart.

**Orson**: Guess it's back to square one.

* * *

Our story begins on the lovely US Acres farm, where we see the gang playing a nice game of catch together.

"Eat this breadcrumb breath!" Roy said as he tossed as the ball to Wade.

"Yikes!" Wade gasped as he saw the ball coming close to him.

Wade covered his eyes and turned around his head. Just then, the ball hit his inner tube and bounced over to Sheldon.

"I got it!" Sheldon hit the ball with his foot to Booker.

"Thanks Sheldon!" Booker said as he grabbed the ball. "Orson, catch!"

"I've got it! I've got it!" Orson said as he held out his baseball glove.

Just then, a female pig came walking by and she really caught Orson's eye, causing him to miss the ball and for it to bonk him on the head.

"Hey Orson! What happened? You missed it!" Booker ran over to the pig.

"Yeah! It's not like you to miss a ball." said Sheldon. "You always are determined when we play catch."

"You missing a ball is like Lanolin taking a yoga class." Roy remarked. "What's going on?"

"Oh sorry." said Orson. "I guess I was thinking about something else."

"You mean that?" Roy pointed to the female pig.

"Who? Lenore? No way." Orson shook his head. "I'm not in love with her. I'm just merely fond of the ground on which she walks."

"Exactly." Roy smirked. "You like her, pork-o and you are going to get her to notice you."

"Forget it, Roy!" Orson folded his arms. "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

* * *

After just a few minutes, Orson was watching Lenore from behind the bushes.

Lenore looked at a box of candy that was on the bench, "Oh well look at this."

She read the note attached to the box, "Roses are red. Violets are blue. I bought this just for you. Awww, isn't that sweet?"

Just then, Booker came walking by and saw Lenore looking at the box of candy.

"I wonder what silly dipstick went broke giving her that." He sneered.

Orson turned to the chick and glared at him.

"What?" asked Booker.

Later that day, Orson saw Lenore walking down the field. He then strutted up to her, looking all show-offish.

"Hey there, Lenore." said Orson.

"Oh Orson, but I just saw you back in the corn forest a minute ago." Lenore said.

"Well, I do get by." Orson chuckled. "Say, that's a nice box you got there."

"Oh yes, it is." said Lenore. "I wonder who could have given me these chocolate covered peanuts."

"They're not peanuts, they're almonds!" Orson corrected her, then immediately covered his mouth when he figured out what he said.

Lenore just smirked right at him.

Orson turned around and saw Roy, Wade, Booker, and Sheldon laugh right at him.

* * *

Sometime later, Orson went to the hill and ran into his friends.

"Hey Orson! Where is your girlfriend?" Roy laughed. "Or is it a secret relationship?"

"Well I could date Lenore if I wanted to, but I just choose not to because I don't want you guys to get jealous." Orson folded his arms.

"Come on Orson, admit it!" said Booker. "You're afraid to ask Lenore out."

"Boy, asking for a date is pretty scary." Wade said nervously.

"Admit it, Orson! You are in love with Lenore!" Booker said.

"Forget it!" Orson denied. "I don't ask Lenore out because I don't feel like it!"

Just then, Lenore came up on the hill.

"You don't feel like what, Orson?" Lenore asked Orson.

Orson started to stutter, "Well, I uh, well..."

"Just tell Lenore you're afraid to date her, Orson." said Roy.

"Uh...um...uh..." Orson stammered.

"Well that's too bad." Lenore smiled. "Because I was going to ask you to go to a movie with me later this afternoon."

Orson gasped and smiled.

* * *

Later that night, Orson and Lenore started walking back from the movies.

"Gee, that sure was a nice movie, Orson." said Lenore.

"Yeah, it was." Orson smiled, not really listening.

"I love the part when the man stopped those Kung-Fu Creatures and blasted off into space as Cecila watched with tears in her eyes." said Lenore.

"Really? When was that?" asked Orson.

"At the very end." said Lenore. "You really weren't paying attention, were you?"

"You know Lenore, there is a new movie playing tomorrow." said Orson. "Muncie Davis and the Temple of Impending Doom IV."

"That's nice, but I really must go see my aunt that day." said Lenore.

"Then we'll do it the day after tomorrow." Orson suggested. "Or maybe, we can do it the day after that, or the day after that, or the-"

"Just a minute, Orson." Lenore cut him off. "Look Orson, you know that I am deeply fond of you and care for you very much."

"You do?" Orson gasped.

"Yeah, but I don't care for you that way. I only like you as a friend." Lenore said gently.

Orson's ears drooped. "A...a friend?"

"We'll always be good friends, won't we, Orson?" asked Lenore.

"Uh, yeah...sure." Orson said as he sadly walked away.

* * *

Sometime later, Orson put his feet into his mud hole, feeling sad about losing Lenore. Just then, Booker and Sheldon came walking.

"Hey Orson, how did it go?" Booker asked the pig.

"Not so well, Booker." Orson sighed. "Lenore just wants to be friends. It's just not fair, I wish I were someone else."

"Orson, you're perfect the way you are." said Sheldon. "You don't have to be anyone but you. We love you for who are. I think what truly matters is that you gained the courage to ask Lenore out."

"Yeah." said Booker. "Besides, it's her loss. She missed out on a pretty great guy. Anybody would be lucky to have you in their lives. Me and Sheldon sure are."

"Thanks guys." Orson smiled at the chicks. "That means a lot."

Orson put his arms around Booker and Sheldon and the three of them looked up into the starry night sky.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**Well folks, Booker and Sheldon really brightened Orson's spirit, but that doesn't mean he took it well when Lenore rejected him. Love at first sight may be alright, but a second can get you back in the saddle. After all, that's part of growing up. Now, let's see how Jon is doing in his love life. **


	3. Jon's Dinner Date

**GARFIELD QUICKIE!**

_[We see Jon eating some food on the table and Garfield and Odie staring at his food.]_

**Jon**: Why don't you boys go fight or something?

**Lyman**: Hey Jon!

**Jon**: Hi, Lyman.

**Lyman**: I'm starving. We got anything to eat?

**Jon**: Nothing. I'm eating the last of the food.

_[Lyman joins Garfield and Odie in staring at Jon's food.]_

* * *

Our story opens up in the Arbuckle house, where we see Odie playing with Garfield.

"Jon! Come quick!" Lyman called Jon.

Jon ran out of his room and down the hall. "What is it, Lyman?"

"The impossible has happened!" Lyman exclaimed. "Garfield and Odie are playing together! I never thought I'd see the day."

"I know." said Jon. "It's cause a sprayed Garfield with something. It's called Essence of Lasagna."

"It's amazing what the perfume company will make these days." Garfield thought.

"Anyways, I need your help, Lyman." said Jon. "You know how I've been trying to find a woman?"

"As if we couldn't tell from all those calls in your little black book?" Garfield rolled his eyes.

"What about it, Jon?" asked Lyman.

"Well, I found a woman and she's coming over for dinner tonight." said Jon.

"Congrats, buddy!" Lyman patted Jon on the back.

"She must be blind." Garfield thought.

"Unfortunately, I have a little dilemma." Jon added. "You see, she hates cartoonists, cats, and cartoonists with cats."

"Wow, she most likely is blind." Garfield rolled his eyes.

"But how'd you get her to come over here for dinner?" asked Lyman.

"I told I was a rich, successful doctor, laywer and the winner of the Nobel Prize." Jon chuckled nervously. "That's kind of what I did. PS, I also sort of told her that you were my butler."

"Figures Jon would live in a world of delusions." Garfield thought.

"I guess I should've seen that coming." Lyman deadpanned. "So, you want me to pretend to be your butler and hide our pets when she comes, right?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I want you to do." Jon said bluntly.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

"Oh no! That's her!" Jon gasped. "Quick, go hide the pets in the basement and go make us some Italian subs!"

"Okay boys, time to go downstairs!" Lyman said as he grabbed Garfield and Odie.

Lyman threw the duo into the basement and went into the kitchen to make some food.

At that same time, Jon went to the door and saw his lovely date, a pretty young woman.

"Hey Jon." said the woman.

"Oh hey Lisa, I didn't really expect you to come." said Jon. "Come on in."

Jon escorted Lisa into the kitchen.

"Wow, this is a nice place, do you live here?" asked Lisa.

"Why, of course I do." Jon chuckled. "After all, a doctor/lawyer can only do so much with such a one-story house like this one."

"So, where are your Nobel prizes?" asked Lisa.

"My Nobel Prizes? Oh yeah, that..." Jon stammered. "Well, I seem to have left them at my beach house in San Jose."

"You have a beach house?" Lisa gasped.

"Of course, I just don't travel there often." Jon boasted.

* * *

Meanwhile downstairs in the basement, Garfield and Odie were sitting on Lyman's bed, trying to think of what to do.

"Jon can't do this to us!" Garfield frowned. "It's completely inhumane! It's unethical! It's just plain animal cruelty!"

"Ruff! Ruff!" Odie tugged on Garfield's fur and pointed to something.

"Not now Odie, I've gotta find a way to get back upstairs and get that food!" Garfield ignored Odie.

Odie tugged on Garfield's fur again and tried to show him what he was pointing to.

"Odie! Can't you see I'm busy?" Garfield hissed as he swatted the little beagle away.

Odie then landed up against the wall and there was a window.

"Well what do you know? There's a window!" Garfield looked at the window. "Sure glad I found it. Come on, Odie."

Odie sighed and followed Garfield to the window.

* * *

Back upstairs, Jon and Lisa were still waiting for their dinner to arrive.

"...so, after I got my masters, I started playing semi-pro football in my spare time." Jon continued trying to woo Lisa. "But enough about me, what about you?"

"Well, I'm a dancer." Lisa replied.

"Oh, you mean like ballet?" asked Jon.

"Something like that." Lisa shrugged. "Anyways, when is our dinner getting here?"

Just then, Lyman (dressed as a butler) arrived with the Italian subs that Jon asked for.

"Oh here comes my devoted manservant, Lyman with our dinner." Jon smirked.

"Here you go, Jon." He said as he placed the subs on the table. "Here are the subs."

"What is this?" Jon asked Lyman.

"What you said, two Italian subs!" Lyman retorted.

"No Lyman, I specifically asked for lobster!" Jon lied. "But I guess it will have to do!"

"Enjoy your meal, sir!" Lyman growled.

While Jon and Lisa were eating, Garfield peeked out the window, eyeing that tasty Italian sandwich.

"Look at that, Odie." He glared at Jon and his date. "Jon enjoying all that food and locking us in that basement, just to impress some floozy! That should be my sandwich!"

"Ruff!" Odie tried to hold onto Garfield.

"I've gotta get inside and show that jerk whose boss!" Garfield thought. "But how? Jon locked the pet door."

Suddenly, Odie lost his balance and he and Garfield tumbled down to the ground.

"Stop lying around Odie, we need to get inside the house and get that food." Garfield glared at Odie. "And I have a plan on how we can do that."

* * *

Back inside, Jon was still trying to impress his date.

"So Lisa, you like movies? Cause I had a cameo in one of them." Jon boasted.

"Oh really? What movie did you cameo in?" asked Lisa.

Jon gulped. "Well, um...uh, well, it was the one featuring Denzel Washington with that actress."

"What actress?" asked Lisa.

"Well, you know, that one in that movie, with that scene..." Jon nervously chuckled.

At that same time, Garfield and Odie made it to the living room, via the chimney.

"Santa Claus ain't the only one who can climb down a chimney." He thought. "Now I've gotta get those subs. Normally, I would try something subtle, but I'm desperate for some grub."

Swallowing his pride, Garfield charged towards the dining room and pounced right on the food, making a big mess onto Jon and Lisa.

"AAAAHHHH!" Lisa screamed. "A CAT! GET IT JON!"

"GARFIELD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE KITCHEN?" Jon snapped as he picked up his cat.

"Enjoying myself." Garfield smirked.

"Jon! What is that cat doing in here, and why are you calling it, Garfield?" Lisa stood up.

Jon tried to talk. "Well Lisa, um...you see, I..."

"Never mind!" Lisa snapped. "Get that hairball out of here! You know I hate cats!"

"You are very culturally deprived, lady!" Garfield hissed.

"Make up your mind, Jon!" Lisa barked. "It's either me, or that cat!"

Jon gulped. "Well..."

* * *

Soon enough, Garfield, Jon, Odie, and Lyman were sitting down at the couch watching some television together.

"Well folks, looks like Jon made up his mind." Garfield looked at the viewers. "If you ask me, he did the right thing. The measure of a man is his cat."

"Well Jon, I hope you've learned your lesson." Lyman said to Jon.

"You mean never lie to impress some chick I just met?" asked Jon.

"I was going to say to keep the pets in a cat carrier next time, but I guess that works too." Lyman shrugged.

"We're bachelors for life, baby." Garfield smiled at the viewers.

**THE END! **

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**And so, comes another end to a Garfield story! Stay tuned for another one coming real soon! **


End file.
